Life shouldn’t be a competition, yet we can’t help but compare.
I’m guilty of this all the time searching other people’s lives for something I can relate to, something I’m better at, or they’re better at and consequently judging myself because of my assumed findings.
For me this comparing fuels my self hate. Feeds the inner voice with ammo, reasons why I’m not good enough. Where it doesn’t even matter how good at something I think I am, they’re better.
It’s worse if it’s something I’m already insecure about or relatively confident about. Made only worse if I can see unrelated similarities between me and the other person. It usually always relates to physical appearance and confidence. Followed by the usual childish mindset of it’s not fair!
Don’t get me wrong the majority of the time I use it as a motivation to better myself. Improve on the things I feel inferior about. That’s great, well usually. Apart from I have a destructive mindset. I hit extremes immediately. There is no steady progression if its fuelled by comparison.
Life would be so much easier, if I could just turn off that instant comparison. Yet I can’t. I’ve accepted that and that helps. Just saying it’s ok that they’re better at something than me, it’s not an issue if they are more popular or fitter than me. It’s OK! Definitely helps take some of the pressure off.
It’s difficult though, the voices still scream at me but I’m learning to ignore them. It’s OK to compare, it’s natural. What’s not OK is to determine your self worth from your comparisons. That is what needs changing.